Family Ark Ministries

A parent can be embarrassed so quickly by their silver tongued child who out of nowhere can rattle off a chain of offensive words. Hopefully, this is a rare occurrence where the child has picked up something somewhere out in the world, and you will have to correct them for it. In many other instances, the child is repeating something they have heard from someone else in the family. This is a double embarrassment. Either way, parents are suppose to teach and discipline their children about the words that come out of their mouth.
Matthew 12:34-37 is a cornerstone teaching scripture about the mouth. This is a good passage to do in your family devotions. Teach your children that all words are flowing out of the heart. They always reflect a condition of the heart. It is very important for parents to help their children tame the wild beast. Another passage to use here is James 3:5. The taming of the tongue. We not only have to surrender our heart to Jesus, but we must all surrender our tongue to Jesus. We must let Him help us to control our tongue.
You must discipline your children when they use wrong language. This is not just a “cursing” issue. You have to instruct children how to use their mouth in the areas of anger, frustration and especially in how to respond to those around you. It is never too early to start teaching your children that words are the cornerstone to a healthy relationship. Loving families use loving words. A fight with a brother or sister has to be tempered with decent language. You cannot allow your children to assassinate each other when they are fighting. Words impact relationships for better or for worse. This teaching will help your kids in their future marriages. Words are very important in a marriage.
It is not necessary to whip a kid for every single word they use. Sometimes they use a word that they heard somewhere, maybe used by some other kid. They were not aware it was a bad word. Don’t over react. Use moderation here. Pull them aside. This type of discipline is best received when they are not embarrassed in front of others. Pull them aside, and gently and calmly tell them that it is a bad word, and we don’t talk like that . Then, it is important to set a consequence for future use of the word. Again, it is not necessary to spank your child for bad words. Be creative with the discipline. Maybe they have to put some money in a jar for every bad word, or verbal attack on a member of the family.
You will definitely need to discipline “patterns” of improper speech. You will have to set down clear consequences, and be willing to follow through with it. And if you have one of those kids that just loves to push your buttons, then you can always use the old time-tested soap in the mouth discipline. Kids prefer Irish Spring and adults prefer Lava or a non-flavored type. Remember it just takes a little. Don’t soap their tongue too much or they will be blowing bubbles for an hour! The money that goes into the “bad word” jar can be given to the church or the cause of your choice. Might as well use it for God’s glory. He is the reason we train our hearts to speak a language of edification.
Don’t just limit your discipline to saying naughty words. Your children need to be taught first, then disciplined for a whole list of unedifying language. This is where teaching comes in. It is your job to teach your children to not use the tongue for the following:
Critical language, making fun of others, gossiping, sarcasm, name-calling, talking back to you or other authority figures, advice shunning from you, self-defeating talk ( where they put themselves down), and making fun or using hurtful remarks towards siblings or friends. Don’t allow your children to make fun of older people or people who look different than they do. Just because someone comes from a different culture or country does not mean we can laugh at them. People are not the objects of our mocking. God created all people. Make the person that is being made fun of; a person. If they say, “ Look at that old man.” You say, “ And what do we think about him?” They learn to say, “ That is someone’s grandpa whom they love and he is a wonderful Christian man.” Help them see he is a person and not an object, who is created by God. God doesn’t make losers, nerds, geeks, etc… Teach them ahead of time how to respond to a kid at school who calls them names or teases them. This is called equipping. Here are some scriptures to use in this process. Genesis 1:26, Ephesians 4:15,29-32, Matthew 12:34-37, James 3:5-10, Ephesians 6:2 Proverbs 18:21. These are just a few scriptures of many to help you get started training your child in the ways of the Lord and how to use their tongue as a Christian should . Our mouth is our advertisement of who we are in Christ. Finally, parents this is for you. Your kids most often talk like you ,so we are going to have to ask God to help us clean up our act. Do you ever use ungodly language when driving? Do you ever make fun of someone? You can’t pass on what you do not possess. Pray for the Holy Spirit to train your entire family’s tongue.