Family Ark Ministries

What happened? Just a few months ago, your baby was a sweet little thing that you held close to you all the time. Now they have grown into a powerhouse of exploding emotions and energy. And they don’t want to always be held by you. They want to kick and get down away from you. Then, as soon as you let them down, they want you to pick them up again. What gives? Let me assure you that you are not crazy. You are not a bad parent. You are a typical parent experiencing one of the most difficult times in human development. The toddler years.
You have to discipline your child a great deal of the time. However, you must keep in the back of your mind that not all of their behavior has to be disciplined. For the first time ever in their young life, they have the ability to independently discover the world on their own. They have a limitless supply of energy and the physical ability to explore. And the whole world is new. Every day is a novelty. Help them explore the novelty of the world around them. This is how they grow. It might also be a time where you re-connect with the simple and beautiful things of life that you have just taken for granted. See life afresh through the eyes of your toddler. Let them touch, smell and taste. Some things can be learned not to touch in the home. Don’t completely childproof your home. They can be told no to some things. But also make your home kid friendly. Have things that they can pick up, touch and squeeze. These are the years that the glass vases and crystal nic nacs are put up. Don’t expect other homes to do the same. Be flexible. Some things we can touch, other things are a “no”.
You can distract them. One of the easiest methods to keep them out of trouble, is to pick them up and remove them from the trouble spot. Get their attention on something else. This can work some of the time. There will be other times where they are obsessed with doing something they are not suppose to do. This is where the heartbreaking part of parenting comes in. You have to spank them. Proverbs 13:24 states that if you don’t whip your kid, then you hate them. You are not showing love to your child to let them go wild with no boundaries or discipline. You will have hurt them their whole life because no one will be able to stand them, and they won’t do well out in society. Proverbs 19:18 goes on to say that you should spank your kids and don’t worry about their crying. Spank them while there is still hope, which means while they are still young. Finally, Proverbs 23:13,14 tells parents to whip their kids and deliver their soul from hell. Discipline is a major underpinning of parenting. God has blessed you with this child, and you are to be a good steward of the gifts God gives you.
Your toddler wants to do everything, and they are still not physically able to do it all. This causes them to be filled with frustration. And we all know what happens when we get frustrated. We get mad. They are going to pitch some fits. That is normal. But you have to be sure and not pitch one with them. Your toddler is not doing this to just make you have a bad day. They are not capable of that at this age. They are frustrated because they can’t do something, and one of the few emotions they have mastered is anger. Help them learn how to deal with anger. We talk to them in a calm voice. We may have to get down to eye level with them. We may also need to pay more attention to them. I know you think you are constantly giving them attention. However, there is a need for direct eye contact with your toddler. When they pitch a tantrum, they are often times doing it for attention. Granted it is negative attention, but nonetheless, you are finally paying them some attention. You watching TV while they are in the room with you, is not undivided attention. Eye contact and touch are critical for them. When they are having one of those bad days, it may save you putting out a lot of fires to just stop. Stop what you are doing. Get something out you can both interact with, and spend some one on one time.
Sometimes “out of control” behavior can come from eating or sleeping habits. All kids function better with structure in their life. Trying to have them go to bed at the same time every night is important. Having them get enough sleep is critical. A child who is fussy all the time may not be getting enough sleep. Don’t allow your children to sleep with you. This is not good for all concerned. They need about 12 hours of sleep. Behavior problems can also occur from food allergies. Stay on top of this and if you suspect it; take them to the pediatrician or a specialist. Redness of the ears and face and behavior problems after eating are a couple of the signs.
You may need to be getting more sleep yourself. You may need to eat better also. If you would eat some healthy food, and go on walks with your toddler, you would be less stressed. If it is a two-parent household, then each parent needs to give some time off to the other parent to relax. Even stay-at-home moms need some time off. This is a fun time because for the first time, you can start teaching your children about your faith. Two year olds are very capable of praying and quoting scripture. I see it every week in churches. You have to spend time though teaching them how to pray. Bowing their heads, talking about Jesus etc… Just remember, it is your job to teach them how to handle their emotions. They don’t know. It is their job to learn, and your job to teach. If you don’t know how, read a book or ask your parents. For example: it is okay to be angry, but we don’t throw things or hit things. We talk about it. We walk. We don’t hit. This will be repeated hundreds of times in the next few years. Don’t give up. God is on your side. God wants you to be successful. God wants your child to be successful. Bottom line: Love them deeply while you have them. It is frustrating some days, but you only have them for such a short time. Play hard. Pray hard. Love deeply. God bless you.